


A Familiar Soul

by Smart_heart



Category: Hilda (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, Spoilers for Season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28712076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smart_heart/pseuds/Smart_heart
Summary: Hilda decides to be completely honest with her mother, surprised when she seems to be a lot more in on magic than Hilda had expected her to be.With her daughter’s association with witches, Johanna is forced to face some secrets of her own, bringing her back to feelings and people she’d rather have left behindDealing with insecurities and inner demons of her own, Kaisa finds herself face to face with the very issues that brought her to be so displeased with her own abilitiesOr: the one where Johanna is Kaisa’s familiar
Relationships: Johanna | Hilda's Mum/The Librarian (Hilda)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 112





	1. You Make Me Stronger

**Author's Note:**

> Wooo another multi chapter angst fic, let’s go  
> So this is set after that whole “Hilda is a troll” situation is solved. However, since I never read the comics and don’t know how it actually was solved, I’ll be keeping it very vague and hoping you take it easy on me :)
> 
> Also, there will be a lot of backstory in this fic, so all the flashbacks will be written in italics, and present happenings will be normal. Tmwm readers, you’ve been here before, same drill

_It was a lovely day, and as Johanna always said, lovely days called for lovely ways to spend your time. Her parents didn’t usually agree with what she described as “lovely”, though, but it was stronger than her! She couldn’t see the sun shining just bright enough that it didn’t burn your skin while still warming you, hear the birds chirping happily because of the freedom they had outside, know that the entrance to one of Trolberg’s many harmless woods was just beyond her backyard and_ not _go outside. It was cruel of her parents to even expect that from her, really._

_Luckily, they were hardly ever home and her current babysitter, whose name Johanna had yet to memorize, since her former one quit the week before after she painted the walls of the living room (and the child still didn’t get why the old woman had been so angry. The house had looked much more beautiful that way!) tended to fall asleep if she watched Johanna draw on her sketchbook for long enough. It had become her strategy to get out of the house, to sketch until the sitter fell asleep and she could sneak through the back door._

_Once she was finally out, the girl extended her arms like the wings of an airplane by her side, mimicking the sounds of the birds as she hopped along a trail in the forest. The few times she’d been caught there, she’d been not only scolded but also told to never go past the clearing, since that’s when the Huldrawoods began. Johanna thought that was a rather stupid advise since they didn’t want her to go to the woods_ at all _. It was like they admitted they couldn’t stop her from going out at the same time they gave her no good tips on what to do if she did go out. She couldn’t wait until she was old enough to join the Sparrow Scouts; they would teach her everything she wanted to know._

_The deeper she walked into the forest, the closer the trees were to one another and the louder the birds sang. Their tune was soothing to her ears, and she thought that maybe if she walked far enough, she’d find herself face to face with a chorus of feathered friends with instruments and all. Those were all fanciful musings, of course, and she knew so because no matter how loud they got, no such thing had ever happened until she found the clearing (and she did always stop at the clearing like recommended, because she’d read enough ghost stories about the Huldrawoods to know better than to go there. Everybody knew you couldn’t go to the Huldrawoods without a witch). However, she reached a point from where on the music didn’t get louder like she expected, but lighter. Looking up at the tree branches, she saw many birds from an array of different species that were just perched there, silent and unmoving, as if mesmerized by a spectacle Johanna could not see._

_Not liking the feeling of being left out, Johanna tried to follow the birds' gaze, trying to figure where they were looking at so intensely. As she saw nothing but trees, she kept on walking, but slower this time, so as not to miss what she was looking for. She kept her body low and close to the ground as though she was on a sort of secret mission. And she very well might be, since she had no idea what exactly she was looking for._

_With her ears well tuned to her surroundings, it took her but a few more meters to begin hearing something she’d never heard this deep in the woods. Barely higher than the rustling of the leaves in the wind, a very human voice came from the end of her trail. Even so, she couldn't recognize the words._

__It must be a foreigner _, Johanna thought, noticing the voice sounded much like a child’s. Something about it made her think about lullabies on winter nights, or tales from the old books she read on magical creatures. Johanna was convinced that this was the kid of someone who had just moved into town, and who had probably gone to the woods because they still hadn’t made any friends they could visit. That being so, she considered it her duty to try and talk to the child, even if only to tell her to not go any further than the clearing._

 _When she lowered the branch that was on her eye level to allow her to see past it, she noticed a small girl, looking to be about her age, sitting on her heels in the middle of the clearing. She had dark hair which grew until the middle of her back. It looked wild and untamed, like it hadn’t been cut in quite some time, and a few small leaves stuck to it completed the picture. Along with her hair, her clothes were also raven black, making the girl look out of place amid so much green. She didn’t look lonely or bored like Johanna had thought she might, though. Instead, she muttered the strange words to a weed in the ground, which contorted itself with very odd, and to Johanna’s young eyes, even_ disturbing _, movements._

_Seeing that, Johanna gasped, revealing her presence. The girl stopped, turning her icy grey eyes to her. Neither of them moved for a second, but after the initial shock, the girl sighed in what sounded a lot like annoyance and turned back to what she’d been doing._

_Though the weed had stopped moving when she’d been looking at Johanna, now that the flow of strange words returned it had begun its strange dance anew. The girl was causing this. Johanna didn’t allow herself to be scared by this realization. After all, this was just another girl her age, and instead moved closer to sit in front of her, the weed between them._

_“This is bizarre.” Johanna whispered. “In a cool sort of way, you know? How are you doing this?”_

_No answer. Johanna didn’t want to raise her voice. It felt wrong somewhy, like there was a certain atmosphere in the clearing in that moment which she didn’t want to break. Instead, she leaned forward so the girl could hear her better._

_“Can you understand me?” She asked, since maybe if her first hypothesis had been right, the kid still didn’t understand English very well. It would be alright, though, Johanna was very patient and she could help her with that. Her story books had taught her some big words._

_However, the glare she was given stated very clearly that either the girl understood her, or she truly didn’t_ want _to. Not allowing herself to be discouraged by this, Johanna spoke up again._

_“I’m Johanna. What about you?”_

_No reply. When the girl took a deep breath, she thought she might get her name, but instead she just returned to her chant with more vigor._

_“Do you, uh…” For a moment, Johanna was distracted by how the other child seemed to be trying to speak over her, her dirty hair falling over her face as her eyes closed in concentration. Her small brow furrowed, and for a second Johanna wondered if maybe she shouldn’t speak. But since her sentence had already been started, it would be bad manners if she didn’t finish. “Do you like the woods? Come here often?”_

_All she heard was more gibberish, though it must make sense to someone if the girl was so resolute in reciting it over and over again. Johanna was beginning to feel discouraged._

_“I like it here. Feels nice and quiet, and the air smells like pine.”_

_The girl stopped her stream of words for one more moment, and looked at Johanna like she wanted to say something. Her eyes weren’t exactly untouchable stone anymore. There was a glint of sympathy in them. Still, she shook her head and went back to her chanting._

_With a sigh of defeat, Johanna gave up. You couldn’t befriend someone who didn’t want to be befriended, even if she did very badly want to know how she was controlling the weed like that. Maybe the girl didn’t even know how to speak English, after all. She got up to walk away, or at least walk to somewhere else in the forest, but was halted when the girl finally raised her voice._

_“Wait.” She said in that entrancing tone of hers. “Stay with me. Please.”_

_Though she had many other things she wanted to ask, Johanna’s eyebrows came together as she stared back at the girl. “Why?”_

_A second before, she was being completely ignored. She was wondering what had changed when the girl chanted again, with a clarity in her voice that hadn’t been there before, and from the top of the weed sprouted long, purple petals, one with each word the girl spoke. It was no unwanted weed. It was a flower. Johanna was staring at that with her jaw hanging open when the girl smiled at her, making her face light up._

_“You make me stronger.”_

_#_#_#_

Hilda had made them tea. That’s how Johanna knew how serious a conversation her daughter wanted to have; not because of the hints of nervousness on her demeanor, nor because of the way she said she needed to talk to her, but rather because when she was guided to their sofa, Johanna saw two steaming cups of chamomile tea waiting for them.

“Mum, even though you already know this, I need to admit that for some time I wasn’t really honest to you about the things that were happening in my life.” She said as she handed Johanna a cup. Her shame and embarrassment made her want to look away, but she forced herself to keep her gaze locked with her mother’s, not only because Johanna deserved to know how she truly felt, but also because Hilda needed the encouragement to continue that she found in her eyes. “And that led to… well, that whole mess. And I know you already forgave me, but you still deserve an explanation.”

She stopped to take a deep breath, and her mother nodded slowly as if telling her that it was all right and that she could take all the time she needed.

“That day I tried to use the nisse space to go back to Frida’s… when we fell into the stone forest.” The girl didn’t know why she was explaining like that, since her mother would undoubtedly know which day she was talking about. But she felt like she couldn’t help it, like the words were stuck in her throat and would only get out one little piece at a time. “I hadn’t been _at_ Frida’s before coming home. I had been at the castle ruins collecting some dust, because Frida needed it.”

“For her school project?” Johanna asked softly even though she couldn’t imagine what kind of teacher would be as irresponsible as to give the children a project that would require them to go beyond the wall.

“It wasn’t a school project.” Hilda sighed. “It was for attempting a spell. Frida is a witch, mum. She only recently discovered her talent, and now she’s learning how to control magic. And I am helping.”

Silence washed over them for a second, and her mother shifted on her seat.

“Because you are her friend.” There was a weird timbre to Johanna’s voice, and Hilda noticed it felt somewhat ghost like. Her mother also sat with her back completely straight, as opposed to the relaxed posture she’d had seconds before as she stared not at Hilda, but straight ahead.

“Of course, but that’s not all.” Johanna’s sentence had been a statement rather than a question, but Hilda still felt the need to correct her. She’d decided to be honest with her mother, so she might as well do it right. “I’m her familiar. Do you know what a familiar-”

She didn’t get to finish her question, one she’d thought Johanna would be very interested in since as far as Hilda knew, she had very little knowledge about magic, because as soon as she’d completed the statement her mother got up from the couch. A robot had more fluid motions than the woman did at that moment, as she dumped the rest of her tea down the sink and mechanically began washing her cup.

“Mum?” Hilda whispered worriedly. This wasn’t a happy reaction; Johanna wasn’t hugging her or wishing her good luck or asking her about the experiences she’d had. However, it wasn’t an angry reaction either, since she hadn’t been sent to her room or scolded for whatever reason. Hilda wasn’t sure what kind of reaction that was at all, and it made her nervous. “Is everything alright?”

Johanna’s hand stopped its frenetic movement with the cup long enough for her to take a deep breath. “A familiar, huh?” She said, and there was once again something off with her voice. Her speech seemed too well controlled, like she was holding back a wave. If Hilda listened carefully, there was a touch of panic right in its depths. “How do you… how do you feel about that?”

After setting down her cup on the coffee table, Hilda walked to her mum. She looked like she needed a hug for some reason, but Johanna didn’t even look at her in order for her to make that offer.

“I love it! All that magic theory Frida is learning gets a little dull sometimes, I’ll admit it, but she adores every bit of it and it makes me happy for her. And when I get asked to help, it’s usually with cool stuff, anyway.”

“Okay.” Johanna took an audible breath in, and a long exhale out. She was using the same thecniques she’d taught Hilda how to use when she was feeling overwhelmed, Hilda realized. “I just need you to- promise me you’ll be careful.”

“With the magic?”

Johanna blinked, not realizing she’d closed her eyes. “Yes.” She said even though it wasn’t the magic she’d been thinking about. “And with Frida too.”

It was a weird request, and this didn’t escape Hilda’s notice. After all she’d put her mother through, though, she knew she wasn’t in place to question her. “I will, but I don’t think there’s anything to be careful about.”

Something about the way in which Johanna nodded made Hilda remember of a puppet having its strings pulled. She dried her cup and put it back in the cupboard while she whispered.

“You’re probably right. There’s nothing-” 

She turned her head abruptly to her child.

“Hilda… how much closer have you gotten to other witches?”

Hilda didn’t see how any information she gave would make any sense to Johanna, but she gave it anyway.

“Well, there’s Tildy. She’s the one training Frida. She lives very close, in fact.”

As Hilda lifted a finger up to symbolize her counting, Johanna tensed up visibly at the mention. Lifting a second finger, the girl continued.

“And there’s the librarian.”

“Mr. Linus?” Johanna asked with urgency, remembering the gentle man who had been the librarian in her youth, even though the more sensible part of her brain told her he had definitely gone into retirement at that point.

“Oh, no. Her name is Kaisa, actually.”

_Kaisa_

In her attempts to not let Hilda see how that name affected her, Johanna only made her distress more visible. She twisted her hands on the hem of her sweater, not caring if they were still wet, and stared a hole into the kitchen tiles on the wall in front of her.

“The librarian, you say? How… how long have you known her for?” She asked, thinking about all the times she’d felt a sense of relief at knowing Hilda had been at the library, when she probably should have felt anything but.

“Some time…” Hilda shrugs. “She helped us with David’s marra. Remember that?”

Though Hilda made a pause for Johanna to add something, her mother didn’t answer.

“She also allowed me to read that book on the Tide Mice, but I swear she didn’t think I’d do anything! At one point we helped her retrieve a book that was missing and… well, there was a bit of fuss with the Tide Mice after the disenchantment which she helped us end once and for all.”

“You hadn’t told me about that.” There was some warmth that had returned to Johanna’s voice, but it wasn’t warm like a hug. It was warm like a fire.

“I know, mum, and I’m truly sorry. I promise I won’t be hiding things from now on.” Hilda assured even though she knew she wasn’t telling the whole of that story. She didn’t think that her mother would appreciate that whole void business, especially not in this state she was in. The girl took a step forward, wanting to hold her mother’s hand, but to her surprise, Johanna recoiled from her.

“Why won’t people _tell me_ what’s happening?!” She burst out suddenly, still not looking at her daughter even though she was scolding her. “I just want to help you! Why is magic so much more important every time?”

Her mother never lost control. Her mother never scared her. Yet, in that moment, Hilda couldn’t help but be scared. Not of her mother, but _for_ her.

“Mum?” She whispered, which finally made Johanna look at her. Her eyes were red, and her lifted eyebrows told Hilda that, somehow, Johanna seemed to have forgotten her daughter was even there.

“I’m sorry, Hilda. This… this isn’t really about you. Thank you for deciding to be honest. I’ll think on what you told me, but I need to be alone right now.”

Hilda desperately wanted to know what had caused that uncharacteristic outburst, but more than anything she wanted her mother to be fine. She respected her wishes, and nodded before walking away from the kitchen and to her room, where she knew Tontu, Alfur and Twig would be waiting to know how the conversation had gone. Hilda had no idea what she’d tell them. She had no idea how it had gone herself.

Before leaving her mother behind completely, Hilda took one last glance at her. With her back hunched and her hands on the counter, she stared out of the window and into the sunset. There was an emotion clouding her eyes which the girl couldn’t bring herself to describe.

This, Hilda concluded as she made her way to her room, really wasn’t about her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Just wanted to mention that Henrietta being the name for the tall witch from the Committee comes from cinnamon-sparrow-scout! Hope you enjoy!

Being in the library again after all those years was a strange feeling, to say the least, having avoided it like the plague ever since she was eighteen. Going to that place had always been the most surefire way to find _her_ , which was the last thing she’d wanted to do. Unfortunately, that was exactly what Johanna had come for that day.

The scent of old books and the sounds of pages turning and patrons whispering were all familiar to her like a song she liked but hadn’t heard in a long time. Simultaneously unpleasant and nostalgic, those sensations made her feel like squirming, as if suddenly her skin was too tight. She kept herself composed and continued walking, though. There was a reason why she was there.

It didn’t take Johanna long to spot the librarian’s book cart between two shelves on the first floor, as if it had been put there to close the entrance to the small corridor the space between the shelves formed. It was a clear sign that Kaisa would be there, reshelving.

Johanna squared her shoulder, trying to make herself look braver than she felt. The part of the library they were in was secluded, which served her just fine. She rolled the cart forward to allow herself in and walked closer.

With her headphones on, it took Kaisa a moment to notice she had company. She turned her head to the other woman with a disapproving face, expecting to see a patron which hadn’t respected the ‘do not enter’ message that the cart positioned at the entrance gave. Now Johanna could see why that corridor would need to be closed for reshelving: the two shelves were so close that Kaisa was all but cornered by Johanna in the narrow corridor.

The librarian was good at masking her emotions, always had been. However, even if just for a second before she picked herself up, her eyes widened and her eyebrows shot upward at the sight of Johanna. _Good_ , Johanna thought, _I hope I gave the bastard a good fright_.

“You need to stop this.” Johanna said with a resolution in her voice she didn’t really feel all the way in her soul. Already recomposed, Kaisa crossed her arms over her chest and deliberately lifted an eyebrow.

“Well, hello to you too.”

“I mean it.” Johanna walked closer, fully aware that she was being rude to someone she hadn’t talked to in so long. Seeing Kaisa again after so much time had gone by awakened something in her which made her want to cry, scream, and kiss her stupid face all at once. “Even you are better than this. Is this some sort of revenge? Trying to put my daughter in danger as well?”

Kaisa blinked, the confidence on her face wavering. In the few moments she’d had, she hadn’t even managed to recover from the shock of seeing Johanna again, a ghost of the past in the middle of her books, and now another blow was thrown at her.

“Daughter?” She asked, hating the disbelief in her voice.

“You know what I mean. You’ve been helping Hilda get herself in trouble, and what for? Getting back at me?”

“Oh, so Hilda is your daughter, is she?” The moments she’d spent with the girl were replayed in Kaisas’s mind, and with this added layer of knowledge, she could now see there had been _something_ about the girl that had struck her as familiar. The irony of Hilda being Frida’s familiar did not escape her either; maybe it was something of a genetic trait? “Congratulations, I would never have guessed such a lovely girl would have been raised by you.”

With one firm step forward, Kaisa tried to squeeze herself between the shelf to her left and Johanna. She wanted that conversation to be _over_. It was too overwhelming for her to keep up her act of calm for much longer. No such luck, however, since Johanna slid herself to the right and blocked her way.

“You mean you didn’t know she was my daughter?” There was a hint of doubt in her voice when she asked. “Why do it, then? Get her involved with magic?”

“I do not spend nearly as much time thinking about you as you seem to think I do.” Kaisa huffed as she bumped on Johanna’s shoulder with her own, trying to get her to move so as to allow her out. “It’s not my fault she has a wild heart. I just hope she doesn’t let her selfish mother get in the way of what she loves.”

“Stay _away_ from my child, Kaisa.” Johanna glared down into the witch’s eyes. “You know nothing about who I am, so keep my name out of your mouth.”

Kaisa met her gaze with as much intensity, all of Johanna’s anger reflected on her eyes. Johanna didn’t think they’d ever had this bad of an argument before. Even when they had fought, Johanna hadn’t been one to pick the battle. There was one difference this time, though, and it was that this time, Hilda was involved.

“You are a coward, Johanna. I see that still hasn’t changed.” She said with a smug grin that Johanna was dying to slap off of her face. Having no interest in facing charges for attacking the librarian, she instead walked away with an angry groan, feeling like it was much easier to breathe once she was out of that corridor.

With the confrontation over, she noticed her heart rate had picked up pace, and that her breathing was ragged. Thoughts scrambled in her head just like emotions in her heart. Kaisa had to somehow know Hilda was her daughter. She desperately wanted it to be true, because then there would be a _reason_ why her daughter was always going on those crazy quests, why she hadn’t been telling her anything. Because then Johanna would finally be able to tell herself that Kaisa was indeed bad.

And yet, with one small, tragic exception, she knew her old friend was not a liar.

She walked quickly, taking big strides. Her crowded mind made it so she didn’t take much of her surroundings in, until another voice she hadn’t heard in years reached her. It was melodic and overly sweet, at least when she was calm, and Johanna turned her head to see the woman sitting on one of the more comfortable armchairs in the library.

“Johanna? Is that you?”

The woman’s long hair was split in the middle, one half of it orange and the other a creamy white. Johanna remembered that when she was a child, that hair used to remind her of a calico cat. Instead of her usual black dress, she was wearing another ankle lenghted dress, dark pink with a brown sweater on top. Something about seeing her out of her witch clothes made Johanna uncomfortable, or maybe it was just because of the encouter she’d just had.

“Abigail.” She greeted. “Yes, it’s me. Been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Oh, how much you’ve grown!” Abigail said, and Johanna had stop herself from saying she hadn’t aged at all. For some reason, Abigail looked surprised to see her there, and Johanna figured it was probably just because it had been a long time since they last saw each other, and not the best circumstances either.

The witch’s gaze was focused on a spot behind Johanna, and she glanced at it for long enough to realize Abigail was looking at where Johanna had just come from, where Kaisa, too, was now leaving from among the shelves.

“Pity, isn’t it?” Abigail said unprompted. “Such a promising witch, she’d been. And yet, she turned out to be so… _self-centered_.”

Johanna sighed, hugging her torso. “I agree. I once thought I knew her, you know. I cared about her, deeply. But now I’m afraid she doesn’t even deserve my compassion. I recently found out she had been endangering my child.”

Abigail brought a hand to her heart with a soft, almost inaudible gasp. “This upsets you, doesn’t it?” She asked in a low voice.

“Deeply. She’s… she’s doing to Hilda the same she did to herself. It’s happening right in front of my eyes, and I can allow it no longer.”

“You mean the blue haired girl?” Her head was tilted to the side. “Oh, I’ve seen the sort of thing she does with Kaisa’s support… they’re certainly not fit for a little girl. You are a good mother to try and protect her. I, too, shall see what I can do to try and keep her safe.”

Johanna let out a heavy sigh. Few things could stop Kaisa when she had something on her mind, and much less Hilda, but having an ally in the Committee of Three was something of a win. She knew very well about the power they had.

“Thank you, Abigail. It was good to see you again.”

“The pleasure was all mine, dear.”

The witch had barely finished speaking when a shrill hiss interrupted her.

“Abigail, what _are you doing?_ ”

Abigail turned to look behind herself, and Johanna noticed the voice, which she also recognized, was coming from a gap before two bookshelves that hadn’t been there before. Another one of the many secret passages the witches had.

“”Henrietta.” Abigail exhaled. “Must you be this way? I’m just talking.”

“With a non-witch!” The other woman snapped. From the gap, Johanna could only see her black clothes and hair split in half, the same colours as her younger sister’s. 

“We can’t go our lives without talking to non-witches, you know?”

Henrietta glared at Abigail in a way that Johanna was sure had a meaning between them. Uncomfortably, she noted that they still talked about her as if she wasn’t in the room.

“Well, maybe we _should_. This place is witch sacred space! You shouldn’t be communing with them here!”

Before they could continue their argument, Johanna cleared her throat.

“I was already going anyway. Good evening.”

As she walked away from the library hastily, she wasn’t sure if in that visit she’d managed to solved her problems, or only to create more.

_#_#_#_

_With her small hands, she placed the violets on the cold stone, one upon each grave. Kaisa didn’t like picking flowers. She knew it hurt the plant and often upset the nature spirits that took care of it. For her parents, though, she made an exception, and when she was allowed to visit them she’d always bring them a flower._

_Their graves were side by side, just like they would want them to be. Kaisa remembered few things about her mother, because the woman had died when she wasn’t much more than a baby, but she’d heard stories about her. After she got pregnant and revealed that she had a non-witch lover, the witch community had been revolted. Heartbroken at not having her kind accept that romance, she’d decided to leave any affiliation with witch kind behind._

_It was a noble decision, Kaisa thought, but not a very smart one. For her choice, she had her magic completely removed, and it made her terribly weak. Even though sometimes witches would take long to manifest their magic, they always had it in them, and taking it away was the same as cutting apart a piece of their soul. Her mother had gotten weaker and weaker, the harrowing experience of childbirth only making her situation worse, which eventually led to her death._

_Without the woman he loved, Kaisa’s father hadn’t lasted long. He was with her for long enough for Kaisa to remember the sound of his laughter, which had always felt forced, the scent of the porrige he used to make them every morning, and to fill her young head with stories of how great her mother had been before she had her magic stripped from her simply for loving, how she’d been the most powerful and wise member of the Committee Of Three. Then, illness had taken him._

_Her father had no parents in Trolberg, and her mother had no close family to speak of (none that hadn’t disowned her, anyway), so at a very young age Kaisa had been on the verge of being completely alone. Luckily, her mother had had one friend left, one woman who didn’t agree with the rest of the witches, and who had been kind enough to take Kaisa in._

_“Come, little one.” Tildy said gently as she put a hand on the child’s shoulders. “Let’s go home.”_

_“Why don’t they come to visit me?” Kaisa asked suddenly, making the older woman involuntarily squeeze her shoulder. “Ghosts come to visit what was theirs, you said so yourself. But then why won’t they come visit me? Do they blame me for what happened?”_

_Tildy made her way to stand in front of her and kneeled down to her level. Age was beginning to make her movements less agile, but it wasn’t something that she ever allowed to stop her. Gazing into the girl’s big, melancholic eyes, she knew there was a long road ahead to get her to heal from the terrible experiences she’d had at such a young age. No child should have such a thought on their mind._

_“Oh, sweetheart, of course they don’t blame you.” Resisting the urge to lock Kaisa in a tight hug, Tildy cooed. “You see, ghosts don’t usually come to visit people because… the thing with loved ones is, eventually they die too. And then everyone’s together again! It’s not because they don’t like you at all. They loved you so much, little one. You were a miracle in their eyes. I promise they’ll be looking at you with a lot of pride.”_

_Kaisa nodded. She didn’t look forward to dying, but at least she knew she’d see her parents again then. She knew what she had to do in this world, in the meanwhile._

_The woman took her home again, and baked her her favorite cake, which she always did when she wanted to cheer her up. Kaisa was infinitely glad for Tildy’s warmth in her life, comforting and uplifting her. It was all she had. That, and the burning certainty in her soul that she had a debt to her mother which she had to pay._

_She had to change the system that had gotten her killed, because even if Kaisa herself wasn’t the culprit of her death, she’d always feel responsible for her mother’s downfall if she didn’t do_ something _. Kaisa would be great, she knew it. She would have to be if she wanted to make her mother proud._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’ll probably keep Tuesdays as the “posting AFS day”. Right now I’m on my school holidays so I can write faster than that, but very soon I’ll go back to school and want to have some stocked chapters as well as a posting goal, you know. Though I might have to change in the future 😓


	3. A Storm in a Teacup

“Yep, this is certainly magical business just like you suspected, Frida. You can close your mouth now.”

At the librarian’s command, David closed his mouth and swallowed, feeling the bitter taste that arose every time he did so. He had been with his friends in the woods for a leaf identifying Sparrow Scout activity when he ate a berry that had evoked the most _bizarre_ reaction from his body. Purple bubbles the same colour as the berry had sprouted on his tongue and made it feel like a dead slug inside his mouth, and as soon as the girls had taken a look at it they’d decided to go ask Kaisa what her opinion on the matter was.

“Am I going to die?” He whispered fearfully. David knew he could trust magic when it came from _Frida_ , but aside from that his experience with it so far had been less than pleasant. Kaisa blew raspberry and swept a hand on the air, as if to brush his concerns away.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

The librarian turned her back to them and continued calmly typing on her computer behind the circulation desk, like she’d been doing when they arrived. Judging by the books on the counter, they assumed she was taking note of which tomes had been returned that day.

“Well?” Hilda shared a look with Frida as she asked. “What happened to him?”

The way Kaisa looked back at them and then to the side was uncharacteristic. She seemed to be battling with herself about whether or not she should answer them, which only made David worry that he was, indeed, going to die.

“He ate the berries of a bush protected by the fae people.” She explained at last, looking not at them but at the computer screen. “Terrible idea.”

“And how do we undo it?” Hilda stepped closer to the counter. The librarian placed her hand on top of one of the books, biting her bottom lip as she did so. Though she might not like Johanna, Kaisa wanted to respect her wishes as Hilda’s mother, and giving them what they needed very much went against them. It was the way Hilda was looking at her, with wide and hopeful eyes, that made her throw caution to the wind and give her the book. If the girl’s first reaction to disaster was looking for some random witch and not her mother, that was on Johanna.

“The potion is on page 63. It’s simple to brew, Frida shouldn’t have any trouble. Oh, and just for good measure, go back to the bush and place an offering on the ground for the faeries. They’ll enjoy anything sweet or shiny, as long as it’s not iron.”

“Thanks, Kaisa!” Hilda smiled up at her as she handed Frida the potions book. “You’re the best!”

The trio ran out of the library together, hoping to get started on their tasks as soon as possible. Until the doors closed behind them, Kaisa could hear Hilda talking about how she could handle the offering while her witch brewed the potion. She sighed and allowed herself to fall back against her chair, her head on her hands as she breathed deep.

The girl was too much like her mother.

_#_#_#_

_It had been an extremely risky move on her part, but Johanna arrived safely on the ground. The palms of her hands were stinging from gripping her makeshift rope so tightly, and she looked up at the string of clothes she’d tied together in order to allow herself out of her room on the second floor of her house. As soon as her feet touched the earth, her best friend sighed in relief behind her._

_“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Kaisa asked. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”_

_Johanna turned to face the young witch with a bright smile. Since the day they’d met each other in the woods two years before, they’d been inseparable. And Johanna wasn’t about to let that change._

_“A three pm curfew is ridiculous and you know it. I’m not letting you go on a cool magical adventure without me, Kai. Besides, they won’t even be home! I’ll be fine.”_

_Kaisa sighed. She had to admit Johanna’s curfew, as well as every other limitation her parents gave her, were very strict, but how fair something was or not didn’t change the fact that Johanna would be punished if she got caught. At least she knew Johanna was quite good at this: she knew exactly what to do to not be seen having fun. It was around this time in the afternoon that Kaisa got invited over to Johanna’s house to play on most days, since the girl knew her sitter would be too busy watching her soap opera to notice her sneaking another child in the house. Besides, it wasn’t like Kaisa could talk her out of helping her; when Johanna got something in her mind, nobody could stop her._

_“If you say so.” She shrugged, turning her attention back to the book she was holding. It was wordy and hard to read even for an adult, but Kaisa rather enjoyed deciphering it. In its pages was all the information humans knew about the Draugen treasure. Tildy had assured her that it wasn’t real, nothing more than an old sailors’ tale, but Kaisa knew it _had_ to be real. Out of the few things her mother had left her, this book was one of them, and Kaisa believed that her mother wouldn’t give her a book filled with made up information._

_“So, where are we headed?” Johanna fell in step with Kaisa, trusting her friend to lead the way even if she occasionally had to point out a closed walking sign or stop her from hitting a person or a street lamp. Kaisa could get very distracted when she was concentrating on her books._

_“To the harbour.” The witch said with confidence. “And then, to the Draugen treasure.”_

_#_#_#_

_Things hadn’t been as simple as that. Once at the harbour, the two children had to face the fact that they had no means to go underwater. Johanna knew how to swim, and she even offered to go and get the proof that Kaisa wanted to bring home to her mentor, but Kaisa declined, not only wanting to see the treasure herself but also knowing that no matter how good Johanna was at swimming, she wouldn’t manage to find the shipwreck._

_Feeling stuck, she’d sat down on a bolster to think. Nothing in her book hinted at how to actually get to the treasure, she knew so because she knew each word in it by heart, and still she searched the pages hoping an answer would magically appear._

_“It’s not too bad if we don’t find it.” Johanna cooed from where she was sitting on the sand. The disappointment in Kaisa’s face was something she didn’t like to see, and it made her want to hug her. “Even if you don’t have any proof to take to Miss Pilkfist… you know it’s true. That’s already enough, isn’t it? Plus, if we wait we’re going to see a gorgeous sunset from here.”_

_Holding her cheeks between her hands, Kaisa grumbled. “I guess.”_

_Even though she’d given up, Kaisa continued staring at the book. Until, that is, she heard her friend gasp._

_“What a pretty seashell, look!”_

_On Johanna’s palm there was a pearly white conch shell, its shape a little too perfect for it to be natural. Kaisa hopped from the stone, extending her hand so as to ask Johanna to see it, but the girl didn’t notice. Instead, she chuckled as she took a better look at it._

_“It kind of looks like a tiny tuba, doesn’t it?” Saying that, Johanna brought the shell to her lips and blew. Both of them shrieked when it made a sound much louder than they had expected, even the birds from nearby trees flying away in fright._

_“What the heck?” Johanna looked to her left to check if Kaisa had also been as surprised by the vibration, but the witch was staring wide eyed at something behind her friend. Turning her gaze to the sea, the girl gasped as she saw a tower of water rise up, with eyes staring right at them. If a being entirely made of water could even look annoyed, Johanna was sure this would be it._

_“A water spirit.” Kaisa whispered. “Johanna, you’re a genius.”_

_Johanna had no idea of what was happening, but given that Kaisa seemed to have she didn’t worry. Instead of running away like she imagined would have been the most logical decision, Kaisa walked closer to the spirit and uttered gibberish. At this point, Johanna had lost count of how many magical languages she’d already heard her friend talking in._

_Apparently happy at having been talked to, the spirit shape shifted to the form of a bubble. Kaisa turned back to Johanna with a smile, offering her hand to help her get up from the sand._

_“Come on, Anna. We’ve got a treasure to find.”_

_#_#_#_ 

_The underwater landscape was something they both knew they’d never forget. Miraculously, the water spirit had taken them, safe and dry, through the sea that connected their city to other far away lands. When Kaisa pointed out a picture in her book that showed a representation of the sunken ship, the spirit had set off to a certain direction without needing any further instruction, which left the two girls free to look at the fish that swam by them and the other strange creatures they couldn’t recognize._

_Once they reached the boat, or at least what was left of it, they couldn’t help but stare in awe for a couple of seconds. As soon as the shock of actually having found it wore off of Kaisa, she fist pumped the air. She really had been right, and she’d prove it._

_Aside from a single draugen who for some reason didn’t stop sweeping a broom around during the whole time they were there, no one seemed to be guarding the treasure. This allowed them to find the chests the book spoke of, filled with golden items and a variety of other items._

_“We could be rich!” Johanna had said, touching the golden coins and chains as soon as the water spirit rolled forward so the chests were inside the bubble._

_Kaisa shook her head. “I don’t think we should take any of it. Tildy says it’s never a good idea to steal from the dead. We don’t know what’s up with that Draugen there.” She pointed to the cleaner, who had explained his situation upon their arrival. “As far as we are concerned, he might have been cursed for trying to steal some of the treasure.”_

_The possibility made Johanna hastily drop the coins she’d been holding._

_“Oh.”_

_“Besides, maybe someone else would like to see this in the future, and I wouldn’t want them to find nothing. “_

_Following that logic, Kaisa decided to take a chip of wood from the weak shell of the boat. Certainly, that was insignificant enough that they wouldn’t face any repercussions, and it still was something they could take home for her to show her mentor that she’d been right._

_They were returned to the harbor by the spirit, who as kind as always nodded them goodbye. Kaisa stared at the spot where it had disappeared, thinking that now she’d have even more motivation to learn to speak Water Spirit. That one seemed like a good friend to have._

_Just as the sun was beginning to set, the two of them arrived at Tildy’s home. The sorceress was sitting on her couch, crocheting something out of pink wool, and Kaisa knew she’d felt it when they entered the house even though she didn’t look up._

_“Aha!” The girl cried triumphantly, walking up to her teacher and raising the chip of wood above her head. “I told you the Draugen treasure was real, Tildy! We’ve found it, and I can prove it!”_

_As serene as if she was going through a daily occurence, Tildy lifted her gaze up to her young apprentice and to her friend, who was just beside her._

_“How lovely that you found a fun way to spend the day! And welcome, Johanna, I made a cake today thinking about you. Why don’t you put some water in the kettle and we can all eat it while having some tea?”_

_“Sounds delicious!” Johanna set off to the kitchen, having been there enough times to know where everything was. Kaisa was left standing in front of the woman with an eyebrow lifted._

_“Thank you for this, dear.” Tildy said as she took the chip from her hand. “Just what I needed.”_

_She tilted her head to the side. “You’re not surprised? You believe me?”_

_“Of course I’m not. And you have always been more of an overachiever than a cheater, so yes, I do.”_

_“Wait…” Kaisa looked down with a crease between her brows, trying to put the pieces together as the mentor got up from the sofa._

_“I do know the treasure is true. But you see, I needed something that belonged to a Draugen for a potion I want to make and that’s not really easy to get! So I thought I could count on you to want to prove me wrong if I said I didn’t believe in it.”_

_“Tildy!” Kaisa groaned. She wanted to be annoyed or angry but truly? She found her mentor’s behaviour quite amusing. Would she ever manage to outsmart the great arch sorceress, Kaisa wondered._

_“Let’s go eat, now. You two deserve your cake.”_

_#_#_#_

_After eating, Kaisa had offered to walk Johanna back to her house. The days were getting ever shorter, and the wind was icy cold as they walked, but they didn’t care. Being with each other always made the rest of the world fade away, and once again Kaisa was grateful that Johanna had been so insistent on befriending her. They were laughing and shooting the breeze while they walked, until Johanna stopped abruptly and gripped Kaisa’s wrist so she would too._

_“My parents are home.” She whispered stiffly, looking at the house’s garage, where there were now two cars. “They will probably have noticed I’m gone by now.”_

_“I’ll go with you.” Kaisa said immediately. “I’ll… I’ll say I pressured you to leave without supervision.”_

_Johanna gave her a sympathetic smile. There was evident sadness in her eyes, and she squeezed her friend’s hand._

_“That’s exactly what I don’t want you to do and you know it. We’ve been here before. If they think you’re guilty of anything, they will want me to stop seeing you. Turn back now and it’ll be better for both of us.”_

_Kaisa’s shoulders slumped. It wasn’t often that something like this happened, but whenever it did, she was filled by a sense of helplessness before her best friend’s situation. Still, Johanna knew her own parents better than Kaisa did, so she always obeyed._

_“Library as soon as you can?” Kaisa asked in a small, hopeful voice, knowing that Johanna’s parents wouldn’t allow her to leave the house at all for a while. It was their arrangement that whenever Johanna got grounded, Kaisa would be in the library at exactly ten in the morning every day until Johanna was allowed to leave, even if followed by her sitter, to tell her she was free to visit Kaisa and be visited by her._

_Johanna nodded and let go of her hand, only heading toher house when Kaisa had already begun to walk away, so as to be sure her friend wouldn’t try anything heroic._

_Her pace was closer to a run as she went back to Tildy’s. Tears stung at her eyes but she held them back. It wasn’t fair that Johanna would be punished if Kaisa was the one who had asked for company. It wasn’t fair_ at all _. One day, Kaisa thought, she’d be strong enough to save her too._

_#_#_#_

When Johanna asked her how her afternoon had gone, Hilda had had to resist the instinct to say the first lie that popped on her mind. She was being honest now, she reminded herself. In the most calm and casual way she could, she narrated the events she’d gone through while her mother finished preparing their dinner, but it was easy to tell her mother did not approve of most, if not everything, of what she was telling. Her shoulders were visibly tight and her mouth was pursed, and the only reaction Hilda got were grunts. When the story was finished, the woman sighed tiredly.

“Hilda, I… I don’t know what to tell you. Sweetheart, you could have gotten _hurt_.”

“Mum” Hilda groaned, trying to make herself look taller. Why did her mother think she was so fragile? “I understand you’re scared for me because you just want me to be okay. But I am okay! This wasn’t dangerous, I promise. You _had_ to see Frida, she was awesome! She’s so smart and skilled.”

Johanna took a deep breath as she took the pie away from the oven and over to the table. No, it wasn’t dangerous, at least what Hilda had told her wasn’t. She still didn’t like it, since her own experiences led her to be wary about that situation, but she knew making a storm in a teacup would only make it so Hilda never told her anything.

“You’re right, sweetheart. I just want to tell you to try not to rely on magic for everything. And Frida… she’s your friend, and a good girl, but do not idolize her, okay? She’s just as human as us, and you may not be able to count on her for everything.”

Hilda’s brow furrowed, thoughts about what it was that her mother wasn’t telling her clouding her mind. “She’s my best friend, mum. I know I can count on her.”

Johanna clenched the fist that wasn’t pulling herself a chair.

“I suppose you can. But listen to me on this, I don’t want you seeing the librarian again.”

Now sitting in front of her mother, Hilda blinked in surprise. “What? Why?”

“Anyone who feels this comfortable giving children magic is not to be trusted” Johanna answered simply, making her child sigh.

Getting her mother to trust her judgement would take a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best not to make Johanna’s parents downright abusive again but... that whole “this isn’t the sort of mum I wanted to be” breakdown Johanna had in The Fifty Year Night wasn’t something someone who grew up with good parents would do, I think
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	4. The Mentor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I just wanted to take a moment to take all of you reading this right now. I’ve received so much positive feedback from this fic, so I wanted to thank you for all the support 😊 I hope you can continue enjoying this story

_Wide with awe, Johanna’s eyes were glued to her friend’s hand, or rather to what she held in them._

_After years of friendship, Johanna had gotten used to the fact that Kaisa was a witch, but she didn’t think she’d ever grow used to witchcraft. No matter how many times she saw it, it continued to fascinate her. In that moment, it was the cloud of bright, purple sparks floating just above Kaisa’s palm that had her enthralled._

_“It’s not even really a spell.” The apprentice witch said, a smile on her face at Johanna’s interest. “It’s more of a spell activator, unless light was my original purpose. I can also use them to activate crystal grids, but grids are a slow working type of spell.”_

_“Does it matter what they do?” Restraining herself from reaching out to touch the magical particles, Johanna tried to look at them more closely. Recently, she’d been going through a growth spurt that hadn’t been followed by Kaisa, so she had to lean forward and down to do so. “They’re beautiful.”_

_“I agree. Kaisa’s magic colour is very pretty indeed.” Tildy chuckled from her armchair. The room where the two of them had magic lessons was wide, with a small amount of natural light streaming in from the window at the top of the wall, which was at street level. It was cluttered with a variety of witchy parafernalia, most of which Johanna couldn’t even name. Regardless of that, being in their little underground haven made her feel extremely privileged; from what Kaisa had told her, Johanna was the only other person Tildy allowed in there._

_Kaisa blushed at the compliments, feeling the tingle that the magic spread through her palms. “Thank you. But it’s a very simple move, really.”_

_“No magic is small enough that it doesn’t deserve recognition” Her mentor reminded her. “Besides, you’ve done that without a wand or a spoken incantation. That is, actually, quite impressive for a witch your age. You’d told me you hadn't managed when you tried it yesterday?”_

_“I didn’t. I wonder why that is.”_

_“Yes, I wonder too.” Tildy whispered, and something in the way she said it sounded introspective. Her gaze fell on Johanna, and she smiled._

_“Kaisa, dear, could you grab my oracle cards, please? I feel like doing a reading, but I think I left them on my bedside table.”_

_Knowing that the inspiration for divination was fragile and easy to lose, the girl nodded and got up hastily from the ground, walking out of the room in long strides. TIldy waited until the door was closed behind her to speak again._

_“She is very fond of you, you know?” She asked, catching Johanna by surprise. “You do her a lot of good. Maybe more than you imagine.”_

_Her best friend was an introverted person, Johanna was aware of it. She had troubles meeting new people at times, because even though she was fascinating, her natural inclination was to close herself from other people. This meant that Johanna was one of her only, and undoubtedly her closest friend, and she knew this. Still, the sorceress had been right to say she didn’t realize just how much of an impact Johanna had on Kaisa’s life._

_“As am I of her. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”_

_Seemingly pleased with her answer, Tildy hummed._

_“I was thinking about the two of you. With some frequency you carry each other off to some exciting activities, isn’t that right?”_

_Johanna nodded and smiled, amused at how Tildy called ‘interesting’ what her parents would no doubt see as ‘endangering’. She supposed it was the reason why Tildy always knew what the two were up to, and her parents never did._

_“The possibility of one of you getting hurt does worry me, though.” The sorceress said, making Johanna’s smile drop. There hadn’t been much time for the girl to worry, however, because Tildy didn’t leave it at that. “Kaisa will, of course, always do her best to use her knowledge and her magic to protect the two of you. But in the event of you being alone, or in case Kaisa’s magic doesn’t work for whatever reason… I think it would be wise for you to have a means of protecting yourself.’_

_Blinking with surprise, Johanna tilted her head to the side as she wondered what Tildy meant. Johanna didn’t have magic, and she doubted she even had the patience to learn it, but even though she couldn’t see herself ever going on an adventure without her best friend, the thought of Kaisa getting hurt because Johanna wasn’t able to defend her was now installed on her mind._

_“No need to look so baffled, dear.” The woman chuckled. “If that’s what you’re wondering, I’m not planning on teaching you witchcraft. However, I have been noticing you have many talents in other areas; you are brave and smart, Johanna, there are so many things you could learn. Fighting, wildlife tracking, plant identifying, wilderness survival, crossbow shooting… all valuable skills that I’m sure would aid you not only in your little adventures, but also in life. I could teach you these things, if you so wished.”_

_Without realizing that she was doing so, Johanna crawled forward, closer to Tildy’s armchair. She was sure that her eyes must be shining with amazement at the possibility. There was nothing that she’d like best. Those were the exact reasons why she was so excited about the prospect of joining the Sparrow Scouts in some time, so she could learn all that amazing stuff that her parents would never teach her._

_“You’d do that?”_

_“Of course, dear.” She assured as if it was no big deal. “What’s one more student? I’m sure Kaisa would be thrilled at the possibility of joint classes.”_

_She didn’t have the chance to answer. At that moment, Kaisa returned to the room, looking austere. The girl looked at her teacher and sighed._

_“You have guests.”_

_#_#_#_

_Kaisa knew that the witches currently in her house hadn’t been in the Committee of Three during the time of her mother’s demise. Henrietta had taken that post when Kaisa was a very small child, but Juniper had only just stepped up into that role after one of the members of the committee had retired. The short witch didn’t really seem like an unfriendly person, still the girl couldn’t help but be wary. Given her history, it was wise to keep her guard up around other witches, and Tildy had already made her feelings clear on Henrietta._

_“To what do I know the honour?” Tildy asked as she joined them in the entrance hall. Upon seeing the arch-sorceress, both witches tried to make themselves look more imposing and failed._

_“Evening, Matilda.” Henrietta cleaned her throat. “We wished to discuss a matter with you. Your input could prove… valuable.”_

_Followed closely by the two children, Tildy moved to her living room where she sat down on the couch. The other adults were left standing awkwardly, as had been her intention._

_“How curious that when I willingly point out the course of action the Committee should follow, I am brushed off. And yet when I mind my own business, I am consulted.” Sighing, she nodded to Kaisa. “Go back to practicing, little one. I’ll be with you shortly.”_

_After a quick affirmative movement of her head, Kaisa grabbed Johanna’s hand and walked away quickly, knowing Tildy would probably reveal what the matter of their conversation was later if she asked._

_“Where is your sister, Henrietta?” At the click of her fingers, a steaming cup of tea appeared in Tildy’s hands, and she mixed its contents with a small silver spoon. “I was hoping to congratulate her on her outstanding performance in her Trials.”_

_Matilda Pilkfist held no interest in the Trials and Henrietta knew this. She hadn’t showed up to one in years, and the last one hadn’t been any different. However, she knew better than to ask how come she had that information._

_“Abigail is probably off being reckless.” Henrietta rolled her eyes, holding her hands behind her back. “As reckless as I see _you_ are being now. Do you really think it’s wise to keep that other child around your apprentice?”_

_The way she sounded, in addition to her scrunched nose made her look almost disgusted at the situation, and Tildy’s hand tightened on her cup. It was always the same story, and she was old enough to be tired of seeing it repeat itself over and over again._

_“Oh, hush, you.” She hissed, before noticing that Juniper looked uncomfortable with the situation and softening her tone. “It’s a beautiful friendship, you have to admit.”_

_The only answer Henrietta gave was an annoyed huff._

_#_#_#_

Taking into consideration that Hilda had said Tildy lived near them, Johanna had gathered the woman hadn’t moved from the cozy house with a flowery garden that Johanna remembered so well from her young years.

They hadn’t seen each other in so long, it made Johanna wonder if it would be impolite to show up like that. Taking in the familiar scent of daffodils, she took deep breaths to muster up the strength to knock.

Looking back, Johanna couldn’t pinpoint why she had stopped talking to Matilda. It wasn’t like she was responsible for Kaisa’s actions, and on the rare occasion of them seeing each other on the streets, before Johanna had moved away from Trolberg, she always had a smile and a couple of kind words to give her. Her relationship with the apprentice had gone downhill, but the mentor had never been less than sweet to her, and it made Johanna feel guilty that she hadn’t even thought about visiting her since coming back to Trolberg. Not before needing something.

It took a couple of moments for her to answer the door, and when she did, she squinted and adjusted her glasses to make sure she was seeing properly.

“Johanna?” Tildy gasped. Her curly hair was now completely grey, and the way her back hunched forward suggested she spent a lot more time knitting these days. Her apparent fragility didn’t fool Johanna, though. The sorceress still sounded like her energetic old self.

“Good afternoon, miss Pilkfist.” Johanna shifted her weight between her feet, embarrassed as she became extremely aware of how impolite of her it was to simply cut ties with someone who had taught her so much. Seeing as there was nothing for her to do to fix her teenager self’s mistakes, she tried to force herself to smile. “It’s been a long time, huh?”

“Yes, terribly long! Come on in, dear, I’ll make us some tea.”

Stepping inside the house, Johanna chuckled. At least Tildy’s love for tea hadn’t changed.

“It’s so _good_ to see you again! Can’t say I blame you for your long absence, though, living in the woods must be so much more enjoyable to the city!”

Johanna didn’t ask how come she knew about her living in the wilderness; she had enough experience with witches to be aware that they didn’t always need to be told things to know them. The older woman twirled her hand and made a fresh teapot appear. There were already two cups on the table, where she sat down and gestured for her guest to do so as well.

“Yes, it was pleasant. I need to say, I probably only managed because of the skills you taught me when I was younger. But now we’re back, and…” Johanna took a deep breath, the tea’s strong herbal scent filling her nostrils as she did so. “I need to be frank with you, Miss Pilkfist, because I know you won’t take me the wrong way. I need your help.”

There was some concern on her face as she leaned towards Johanna, taking her hands in her own. Though she was now a woman, Tildy had seen her grow up, so she’d never really stop being a girl in her eyes. Something about her demeanor seemed so exhausted, however, that Tildy thought not even adulthood could justify it. It made her wonder, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, what had happened to the carefree child Johanna had been.

“Of course, my child. Are you alright?”

“I am.” She sighed. “But I’m not sure for how long my daughter will be.”

When Johanna looked back into Tildy’s eyes, there was a dawning of understanding in them.

“Hilda.” She whispered, and Johanna nodded.

“I was told you two already met. I am worried, Miss Pilkfist. Hilda has always had a taste for… unusual things, and it looks like now she has gotten very involved with the witch community. I mean no offence for you.” Johanna assured, squeezing Tildy’s hands gently. “But I just ask you to please not put her, or let anybody else put her in harm’s way. I know it’s more likely for both her and other witches to listen to you rather than me.”

Tildy hummed, trying to make sense of the situation.

“And by ‘witches’ you don’t happen to mean ‘Kaisa’, do you?”

Johanna gave herself away by looking away to her side, and she swallowed as she kicked herself mentally. _Great job, Anna!_ she told herself, _insult both her and her apprentice!_

“Don’t worry,” Matilda said before Johanna could answer anything. She’d always had the ability of telling what was in people’s minds very easily. “I can see it in your eyes.”

“I tried to talk to Kaisa.” Johanna explained, not sure if she was trying to defend herself or simply to tell the truth. “But she just seemed determined on… well, I don’t know! Making things worse, it seemed!”

Johanna’s voice ended the sentence higher than it had begun, picking up emotion as she remembered her recent visit to the library. Nodding negatively, Tildy let her gaze fall to her lap. It was sad to see what those two had become, but she didn’t want to let her true opinion on it show.

“Oh, never you mind old Kaisa.” She said in a tone meant to calm Johanna down. “Admittedly she can be a bit of a grump, but she’s been in a bad place for some time now. I actually hadn’t talked to her in years before a few months ago.”

“Years?!” Johanna yelped, wondering how Kaisa even _survived_ without Tildy for so long. Apparently, Johanna wasn’t the only one who had been black listed.

“Yes. Not long after she started college, we lost contact completely.”

_Weird,_ Johanna thought. Kaisa had never thought about going to college. She had always wanted to focus completely on witchcraft.

“She moved out with practically no explanation. It was terribly sudden, but I could see she was shaken by her life having taken a turn she hadn’t expected.”

Though Tildy hadn’t meant to do so, Johanna felt jabbed by her words. She knew all too well about the turn in Kaisa’s life, Kaisa had made sure of it.

“It turns out she became the librarian! In my opinion, this job suits her very well, but it was a bit of a problem when I had an overdue book. Awfully embarrassing for me, as you can imagine.”

Tildy looked at Johanna expecting to see some recognition in her face, but there was nothing. It looked like Hilda was still keeping a few secrets close to her heart.

“I see.” Johanna muttered, adding some sugar to her tea. Something about that explanation didn’t feel right. Kaisa had never wanted to become a librarian, as far as Johanna was concerned. She couldn’t imagine that their _situation_ would have caused her to give up on dedicating herself to witchcraft. Unless, that is, there was something she didn’t know.

“Enough about Kaisa, now.” Tildy said as she turned to her own tea. “you have my word that I’ll do my best with Hilda, but tell me, how have _you_ been? I’m sure we have a lot to catch up on!”

The woman smiled. Even if the person who had held her heart for all of her childhood was a stranger to her now, at least Tildy was still herself. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could pretend she was still a young girl, arriving in that house after school to have tea and learn about the healing properties of plants while her best friend studied their magical side. Even if just for a moment.

_#_#_#_

“Thank you for your time, Matilda.” As both of them stood by the doorway, Johanna smiled, tired and thankful at the same time.

“Not for that, my dear.” Tildy waved when Johanna took a step back. “If there’s anything old people have, it’s time. Please drop by more often, you are delightful company.”

The woman walked away feeling just a bit lighter to when she’d arrived. Maybe she should take the invitation and show up more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to let you guys know my classes come back tomorrow, so I don’t know whether I’ll be able to keep up the weekly posting schedule or not... I do have a strategy in place to make sure I won’t go on too long of a hiatus, but for now I can’t guarantee much of a consistency in my posting though I will do my best. Just thought it was better to warn you all beforehand <3


	5. Secular

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too happy with the writing in this chapter, but I hope it’s interesting enough to make up for it <3

Library lessons would be the death of Hilda. Every time Tildy said Frida’s lesson that day would be in the library (Tildy’s personal one, of course, in her house, since she didn’t dare try to teach near the Committee), Hilda knew there would barely be a glimpse of _actual_ magic for her to watch. So much for accompanying her witch to her classes.

The room Tildy called her library was mostly a study with shelves covering every wall. It wasn’t very big, but it was cozy. The sorceress sat on the only chair, and the children on the pillows on the floor, and Tildy handed her student a book which Frida had already seen before, judging by how quickly she opened it and began looking for an specific page.

“I mentioned the Trials in our last lesson, and I was thinking that today we could begin by talking some more about them.” Tildy said, making Hilda lift her eyebrows. She hadn’t been with them for Frida’s last lesson. “It’s not something you have to worry about quite some time… actually, scratch that, it’s not something you have to worry about at all, but judging by how goal oriented you are…”

“I’d love to know more!” Frida chirped, but Hilda kept looking back and forth between them.

“What are the ‘trials’?” She asked. Tildy’s smile told her that the woman had already known she’d ask that.

Tildy sat up straighter on her chair - the doctors said she ought to pay more attention to her posture- and planted her hands on her lap. She’d been hoping Hiilda would take an interest in this topic. There were matters that needed to be discussed, waters that needed to pass, feelings that needed to be unstuck, and Hilda seemed like just the person to set things in action even if she wasn’t aware of it.

“The Trials are a mark in a witch’s career. They were established by the first Committee of Three, the ones who built the Tower and the library, to better organize the witch society. When a young witch becomes of age, she and her familiar.” Tildy gave Hilda a meaningful stare, though the girl couldn’t realize the full extent of it. “Present themselves to the Committee and perform some sort of magic, whether it be a spell, a potion, or a fortune telling. Based on how well the witch performs, the Committee tells them what kind of witch they will be allowed to become.”

“Wait, why does the familiar need to be there?” Hilda asked, putting a hand on Frida’s shoulder. “I mean, I’d want to be there for Frida for something meaningful like this, but what’s so important about it?”

“The familiar is the centre of it all.” Tildy said as she watched a bird land on the outside of the library’s window. Secretly, she wondered how Cornelius was doing at the moment. He’d just been sent off to have a bath and he truly, really didn’t like it. “In its core, witchcraft is about connection. To yourself, to others, and to the world around you. That being so, a witch’s magic can be measured by how well she can connect to other beings, and the familiar is taken as the standard because of the tight bond they have.”

“Is that why my magic is stronger when I’m with Hilda?” Frida asked. “Because of our connection?”

They had already told her about the Kraken situation, but never truly discussed how Frida’s magic had changed because of the wand Hilda had given her. Tildy smiled.

“Yes, it is. This is actually very common in witches. So much so that some of them come to believe they simply can’t do magic without their familiars. Back to what I was saying, with the familiar’s assistance the witch performs before the committee, and if they’re good enough by their standards, they get the opportunity to choose the magic tracks that are considered the most powerful… including a chance at being in the Committee when there’s a place. Those who don’t do that well, they get offered jobs that involve less connection, and essentially less magic.”

“That doesn’t sound very fair.”

“Of course it’s not fair!” Tildy rolled her eyes, although both girls knew her mocking wasn’t directed at them. “I can count on my fingertips the amount of times the Committee has been fair since its creation. It’s impressive, really, the witches in the Committee change, yet the mentality remains.”

Without taking her eyes away from the book, Frida asked. “Well, I can _kind of_ see why they would do that. They should be able to tell which job suits each witch better, as well as it making it easier to pick out new Committee members. Haven’t you ever met a more sensible witch in the Committee?”

There was the ghost of a smile on Tildy’s face. “I had a friend there, once. Amaris was a good woman, but accepting to join that mess…”

Silence hung over them, making Frida and Hilda look at each other in askance, and then at Tildy to figure out why she had stopped. The woman just shook her head and put a happy face back on.

“As I said, you shouldn’t worry about that. I’m sure Frida will do amazingly in her Trials and be able to pick any track she wants. What I wanted to discuss with you today were the different types of witch that you can become. This isn’t to mean you can’t study everything, but it’s good to have a focus.”

“Great!” Frida smiled. Now Hilda could see the book better, and it was an explanation of different expertises inside witchcraft. “Let’s begin.”

Hilda thought she had probably zoned off while the witches talked, since whenever she tried to pay attention they seemed to have jumped to a new topic. It wasn’t exactly that the subject wasn’t interesting but she just couldn’t see it in her day to day life, which made it hard for her to focus. Maybe trying to figure out which type of witch Tildy was would help her, Hilda thought, before brushing that idea away on the grounds that Tildy had probably found a way to merge all the magic she found interesting together. Then, the girl remembered about the other fully grown witch she knew.

“What about the keepers of the books?” She asked, hoping she hadn’t interrupted anything too important. Frida’s face lit up, and she quickly went to the book’s summary to look for a chapter on that path.

“Yes, tell me about them!”

“They were usually the most powerful witches.” Tildy complied. Noticing the surprise on Hilda’s face because of that bit of information, she continued. “When you are confident about your strength, you don’t feel the need to show it all the time.”

Once again, Hilda realized just _why_ it would be a disaster if she were a witch. If she ever had a lot of power, the chances of her following that logic and choosing to just deal with books were practically non existent. They were all much safer with Frida as a witch.

“Unfortunately.” The sorceress continued with a weariness to her voice. “It is almost secular that the so called higher ranking witches-“ 

She made quotation marks with her fingers, making it even more explicit that she truly wasn’t fond of the Committee.

“- will simply not listen to them. The Committee recurringly brushes their opinions off because they ‘know more about books than the real world.’”

Finally having found the right chapter, which had illustrations of flying books near the header, Frida looked up at her teacher.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, for example, the reform in the teaching of magic proposed by Blyanna Biddle was genius, but only accepted _years_ after her death.” She emphasized the world, letting the vowels draw out for longer than they needed to be. “Somewhy, the Committee tends to listen more to seers than to people with actual study and knowledge.”

“That’s awful.” Hilda scrunched her nose. Granted, she knew she wouldn’t have the patience to do all that studying herself, but she did recognize that _someone_ had to do it, and that this someone needed to be heard. Where would she be if she didn’t let Frida weight in on her plans?

“It is.” Tildy nodded, but instead of keeping a stern face she pouted playfully. “Seers are a bunch of kooks.”

The girls laughed, and the lesson went on.

_#_#_#_

_Despite the fact that Kaisa had told her_ not _no stare, Johanna couldn’t help but do exactly that when suddenly she was taken out of that series of hidden rooms and into the Witches Tower._

_It wasn’t that she wasn’t used to witches; far from it, in fact. But the sheer amount of people walking up and down those seemingly infinite staircases was overwhelming nonetheless. She was sure that if she paid close attention, she would have been able to recognize even more people she knew._

_“Why don’t you show her around while I go announce our visit, hm?” Kaisa nodded at her mentor’s suggestion and grabbed Johanna’s hand._

_“Come on, Anna. You’re going to love this place.”_

_Absorbed in all the amazing things her friend was showing her, Johanna didn’t even notice the odd stares she was getting from other witches. She’d always dreamed about meeting the tower, and had bugged Kaisa to take her there since they were very little, albeit with no success. Luckily, things had changed for her._

_Johanna hadn’t asked about the specific details of the conversation, but apparently it had started out as a vent. Kaisa had decided to open up to Tildy one day about how she was getting older and still had no familiar. Hearing that had been a shock to Tildy, who immediately saw that there had been some sort of communication problem and made herself as clear as possible: Kaisa already had a familiar, had had one for over five years now._

_So that meant Witches Tower access to Johanna._

_“You’re going too fast!” She complained when Kaisa pulled her away from a window which revealed a room apparently filled with carnivorous plants._

_“I can bring you back here to explore any time now, but there’s something I want to show you before we talk to the Committee!”_

_After making her witch promise she’d show her all the cool things properly later, Johanna complied, being guided through the most peculiar passageways untilt the two of them entered a large corridor, its walls covered by pictures of witches and, Johanna realized, their familiars._

_“This is the walk of portraits! Every witch who ever did something important is here.”_

_Stunned, the girl took in all the different women surrounding her. There didn’t seem to be one thing that they all had in common, each of them bearing an unique essence that anyone who looked at their portrait could sense. There was one of them, however, that looked more like a stereotypical witch than the others, and it was the same one Kaisa was standing the closest to. Her hair was midnight black with a strand of dark purple, with a crow perched on her shoulder and a penetrating gaze. The description on the golden plaque under the frame bore the name “Amaris Underhill”._

_“Does she seem familiar?” Kaisa asked when she caught Johanna looking at the portrait, trying to keep a lighthearted posture. Johanna smiled comfortingly at her._

_“Very. You look as beautiful as her.”_

_It was very flattering to be compared to someone she admired so much, and Kaisa blushed despite herself, hoping her hair would cover it up. Since it didn’t, Johanna looked away, pretending to be more interested in the other portraits because she knew her friend didn’t appreciate being the centre of attention when she was vulnerable._

_“Is Mr. Linus here?” She asked, referring to the redhead who always had a kind word to offer her when she went to the library. The question made Kaisa make a sound that sounded like a scoff._

_“You’ll hardly find any book keepers here, Anna. They’re quite strong, I’ll give them that, but they have very little opportunity to actually_ act _. I don’t think you can make much of a change sitting around books all day.”_

_Johanna didn’t agree, but by the way Kaisa said it, like it was a speech she had memorized, gave her the feeling that she shouldn’t voice her opinion. It looked like Kaisa had done a great deal of effort to believe in what she was saying._

_“And what kind of change would_ you _want to make?” She asked istead, not missing how the witch’s gaze went back to her mother’s portrait before returning to Johanna._

_Kaisa didn’t look comfortable when she answered. Her hair was growing over her eyes and she looked through the wild strands up at her friend, fidgeting with the hem of the skirt she was wearing._

_“It’s not really typical for witches to have to show their familiars to the committee, Anna.” There was a hint of an apology in her eyes as well as her voice. “We’re doing this because witches, as a group, are very against outsiders, and I prefer warning them now than submitting you to any complications in the future.”_

_Johanna frowned, the stares she’d been given while strolling along the tower clicking into place on her mind. But still, the knowledge left her confused. Kaisa and Tildy had never been anything but kind to her, and she’d been kind in return, hadn’t she? At least for her part, she didn’t think she’d sullied non-witches’ reputation._

_“Why?”_

_“I don’t know.” Kaisa shrugged, her attitude suddenly looking defeated. “If this was something born out of fear, I’d get it…. but the witch hunts aren’t even a thing anymore, and if it were, we’d be able to protect ourselves. Sometimes it feels like it’s more of a prejudice than anything.”_

_The gentle touch of Johana’s hand to Kaisa’s arm made the witch look up. “In that case, I’m just very glad you don’t share that mentality.”_

_Kaisa smiled in gratitude, thinking that Joanna couldn’t possibly know just how deep her disgust for said mentality went, nor how glad she was to have a friend as supporting as her. She was about to begin pointing out other famous witches in the corridor when Tildy popped up behind them magically._

_“Let’s go.” She said, looking tired already. “The Committee is ready to see you.”_

_#_#_#_

_Kaisa had only been in the Committee’ hall once before, just after her father died when Tildy took her guard, but she’d been very young and couldn’t remember it well. Now, almost a teenager, she saw it with new eyes and a renewed distaste for the group that, ironically enough, she wanted to join. She kept in mind, however, that not only was it Johanna’s first time there, but also she couldn’t possibly have known what to expect, so she made sure to keep her friend always close, their hands clasped._

_Henrietta and Juniper were looking down at them from their stand, which gave the hall the same atmosphere as a court. On the ground near them, Henrietta’s younger sister had just stopped cutting up leaves from the plotted plants that surrounded her to stare at the newcomers as well. Abigail, Kaisa knew, had gotten the best collocation on her Trials a few years back, and therefore been elevated to the position of the Committee’s successor. She was supposed to improve her abilities as a green witch while she waited for an opening in the Committee; however, the last which who had been part of the Committee had only recently retired (something Kaisa was thankful for; she wouldn’t want to face the witch who had replaced her mother when she left) and still Abigail remained as simply the successor. Tildy had said she thought this was due to Henrietta’s insistence, though she didn’t know why, so for now the Committee of Three was only the Committee of Two._

_“It really_ is _a non-witch.” Breathed Juniper, who to her credit sounded more curious than displeased, though there certainly was a bit of repulsion in her posture._

_"Unacceptable!" Henrietta shouted. “A human as a familiar?! that has never happened before, it’s an absurd!”_

_Kaisa noticed the way Johanna flinched, and squeezed her hand._

_“Has it never happened before, or has it simply been forbidden from happening?” Tildy snapped. “The witch doesn’t choose the familiar,_ magic itself _does. What kind of witch are you to stop magic from doing its work?”_

_Clearly, Henrietta wanted to argue, but she couldn’t seem to find any arguments, and her face became significantly redder, as if she was holding something back and would blow in any second. Knowing how good Tildy was at making her point, Kaisa almost felt bad for Henrietta for trying to debate with her. Almost._

_Before either of the witches continued their discussion, Kaisa looked at Johanna and tried to look reasuring._

_“It’s going to be fine.” She mouthed with as much articulation she could manage. Johanna seemed to have understood just fine, and smiled._

_“I know.” She was the one to squeeze her friend’s hand this time as she mouthed back. She meant it. Somehow she always knew that as long as she had Kaisa around, she was going to be okay. A couple of biased witches would never draw them apart. If anything else, she could be sure of that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I’m not making the Committee too ooc xD


	6. Treason and Tenderness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy for those who don’t follow me on tumblr and therefore weren’t warned that this would happen, I’m sorry for not posting last week! I was with my family and couldn’t write a lot, and since I already had posted one fic that week, I thought it better to skip one Tuesday with this one 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Come on, Kaisa, it’ll be fun!”

Kaisa put down a book on her card a little more forcefully than she needed to, and right away shot Hilda an apologetic look, as if saying she hadn’t meant it.

“I know, Hildie… I’m just not sure that I should.”

“Come on!” The girl groaned as she moved from the librarian’s side to being in front of her, with her cart between them. “It’s just tea! You haven’t been acting like yourself, Kaisa. Is everything alright? For some days now you have been very distant, you know?”

The librarian sighed. She’d been hoping Hilda wouldn’t notice the change in her demeanor, but apparently the girl was too smart for that. “I’m sorry about that. I’ve just been considering that maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time with you three. After all, you’re children and I’m… not.”

“That doesn’t matter at all!” Hilda argued with her arms crossed on her chest. “You’re our friend, Kaisa. You’re _my_ friend. And I really miss you.”

Something about the way she said it made Kaisa bend. How long had it been since anyone had considered her their friend? Since the girl’s _mother_ , Kaisa noticed with sadness.

“Just tea, you say?” Hilda smiled brightly and nodded at her. “And you’ll be alone at your house?”

“Yeah, I will! Alfur said he’ll be busy with report writing all afternoon, and Tontu will be out to… honestly, I don’t know what he’ll be doing, but he’ll be out.”

“Fine, then. I accept the invitation.”

“Yes!” Hilda shouted as she fist pumped the air, before noticing the disapproving stares she got from everyone around her, including Kaisa.

“Yes!” she repeated, whispering this time, and Kaisa had to bite back a chuckle. “Thank you so much. See you tomorrow, Kai.”

_#_#_#_

Kaisa had decided to take over the tea duty simply because she knew the drink would turn out better if she did it. It had nothing to do with being worried about Hilda, who seemed too short to be using the stove and got on the brink of spilling hot water on herself at one point. Not at all.

“Thanks for that!” The girl said when Kaisa stopped the kettle from falling on her and put it back in its place to boil, telling her to put the other things on the table while she took care of the tea. “Mum’s usually the one to make tea so I’m not really used to it.”

The breath was caught in Kaisa’s throat at the mention of Johanna, and Hilda tilted her head at her when she noticed something off about the librarian.

“Kaisa?”

“It’s fine.” Kaisa said then, hastily. “I’m _very_ used to it. Tildy is basically an addict.”

This made Hilda chuckle as she picked cookies from the cabinet to put on the table. Kaisa was grateful to see a few store bought options; even though the home baked ones definitely looked more delicious, she didn’t think she’d feel well eating something she knew Johanna must have baked. It felt like trespassing.

“Yeah, I saw her house. Don’t take me the wrong way, but does she ever clean?”

Kaisa snorted. “Why clean when you can just let your familiar eat your messes?”

Pulling herself a chair, Hilda laughed gleefully. It made Kaisa very grateful to have someone who seemed to appreciate her presence, and she appreciated Hilda’s presence as well. When the kettle whistled, Kaisa readily poured the boiling water into the cups, both already with the herb mixture she’d prepared, and took them over to the table.

Eating with Hilda was easy. Being the bright and energetic person that she was, Kaisa didn’t have to make too much effort to fill in any gaps in the conversation, and she dealt with Kaisa’s sarcasm and dry sense of humor remarkably well. Even when Kaisa politely refused a bowl with pastries she’d made with her mother, Hilda didn’t press her to eat them.

It was her fault, really. Kaisa knew she wasn’t supposed to be there, and still the company and the warm tea were so pleasant she lingered more than she had to, so it was her fault that there had been no time to escape before the front door was unlocked and a person walked in.

“Hilda, I’m back!” She announced. Johanna had a smile on her face as she saw Hilda sitting at the table and looking behind herself at her mother, but it quickly faded when her gaze traveled from her daughter to her usual seat.

Dropping her purse to the ground in surprise, Johanna gasped audibly, shock and anger making her lips curl back.

“ _What are you doing here_?!”

“Mum, I can explain!” Hilda got up from the chair as quick as she could, while some part of her mind registered that her mother seemed to not only know the librarian very well, but also not like her at all. “I invited-“

“I came to ask Hilda about a book she had borrowed.” Kaisa spoke over Hilda, knowing that the girl would probably get in trouble if Johanna knew she had been invited for tea by Hilda herself. The lie flew from her instinctively. “It was about to be overdue, so I thought it was better to come and talk to her.”

Far from being appeased, Johanna only seemed to get more furious. 

“Really?!” She spat. “Out of all the things you could make up, you’re using the same excuse you’d tell my parents and expecting _me_ to fall for it? Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

_Oh_. Now that Johanna had said it, Kaisa recognized why that lie had seemed so natural to her. On two separate occasions when she was a teenager, she’d used it to justify to Johanna’s parents why she was in their house so early. _Of course she hadn’t stayed the night_ , she’d said, knowing they didn’t like it when Johanna had ‘friends’ over, _Mr. Linus had just told her Johanna had an overdue book and she’d come to warn her friend before the deadline came._ Her father had fallen easily, but Johanna’s mother had been slightly harder to convince.

“Your parents?” Hilda whispered, now looking between the two women in curiosity. They both seemed to have taken fighting stances, Johanna with her feet set apart as if to give her a strong base and her chest leaning forward, looking ready to attack while Kaisa stood rock still, every bone in her body stiff as she clenched her jaw and fists.

“Go to your room, Hilda.” Johanna hissed. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Johanna, really.” Though Hilda wasn’t looking at her, she could _hear_ the eyeroll in Kaisa’s eyes, and she flinched. Her mum didn’t like it at all when people rolled their eyes at her. “I wasn’t here to- _corrupt_ your child or anything else you might imagine. We were just having tea and talking.”

“She doesn’t need you here!” Johanna snapped, and for some reason this hit the librarian harder than she could have predicted. “She has her friends and she has _me_ , there’s no reason for you to be here and… do anything!”

In the library, Kaisa had been in her element, had felt confident enough to spit back at Johanna. But now they were in Johanna’s zone, and she didn’t feel like buying a fight, especially not in front of Hilda. She really didn’t have to know about this mess the two of them had made of their lives.

“Now, let’s not be rash-“

“Don’t you dare talk to me about being rash!” Johanna stepped aside and opened up the front door wide. “Get out of my house!”

Kaisa grunted in anger and did as she was told, even if in heavy, loud steps. Hilda reached out her hand and called for her, but the librarian had already broken into a run upon reaching the staircase.

“What has come upon you?!” She asked to her mother, whose breath was finally beginning to slow down.

“Hilda…” Running a hand through her curls, Johanna sighed. “Try to understand-“

“I don’t want to hear it!”

Ignoring her mother’s protests, Hilda ran past her to try to catch up with Kaisa.

So much for having an honest relationship.

_#_#_#_

_It was an unquestionable truth in Johanna’s life that everything that was good, became better when she shared it with Kaisa. This meant, of course, that as soon as the Raven Leader took them to that tower in order to watch the woff migration routes, Johanna knew she had to take her favorite witch there._

_The former bell tower sat right at the wall that separated Trolberg from the wilderness, but since having its bell broken in the earthquake of ‘82, it no longer served its original purpose. With its view overlooking the green fields which woffs favoured as their mid-migration resting spots, it was the perfect place for such activity._

_Right after the Raven Leader had declared their duties done for the afternoon, Johanna had begun to think about inviting Kaisa over to the tower. Since her mother picked her up from the Sparrow Scouts activities, she couldn’t just deliver a message at that moment. It wasn’t that her mother didn’t like her seeing Kaisa, though she’d already voiced her wishes for her daughter to have a wider group of friends, but since Johanna’s feelings for her best friend had begun…_ shifting _into something a little different, and she could no longer deny that they were, she had constantly been afraid of her parents seeing right through her and figuring it out. That left her with only one option, to ask Kaisa about it at school._

_Seeing as they walked to their local high school together every day, it wasn’t hard to find a good moment. In fact, Johanna made the proposition right after she’d met Kaisa on the front door of Tildy’s house, and they arranged to go to the tower right after class. Johanna’s parents had just begun to allow her to go outside without adult supervision and they didn’t want to test their boundaries by having Johanna arrive home late._

_She’d spent the whole school day anxious for the moment when she’d be allowed to leave. This was unusual for her, having always been a hard working student, but she couldn't stop her mind from going back to their appointment every couple minutes. There was nothing romantic in its nature, but since admitting to herself that she had a crush on Kaisa, she seemed to get more and more eager for any amount of time they could spend together._

_“Are you sure this is open for visitors?” Kaisa asked while Johanna struggled with the tower’s entrance door, which gave in at that exact moment as if it were proving Johanna’s point._

_“Either that or the Raven Leader illegally barged in with a bunch of kids.” She lifted an eyebrow at the witch, daring her to say that the Sparrow Scout’s leader had broken into City Hall property, and in return received a playful shove when Kaisa walked past her and into the curling staircase inside._

_They were both out of breath once they had finished climbing, even though Johanna did her best to hide it (she was the familiar in that relationship, after all, and if Kaisa saw she was tired after some stairs how would she be able to trust her with protecting her?). Their footsteps echoed in the tall stone room, and Kaisa excitedly pointed out the bats sleeping upside down on the roof. After she’d admired them, Johanna beckoned her over to the window, the light that came from it dimming with every second that passed. Dusk was coming quickly._

_“You should be able to see a couple of woffs sleeping or grazing in the meadow below.” Johanna said, placing Kaisa in front of her so she had a better view. Instead of looking down as well, she got momentaneously distracted by the whiff she caught of Kaisa’s scent, like black tea and lavender._

_“I don’t see any down there.” The witch breathed with clear excitement in her voice, snapping Johanna back to reality. “But those look interesting enough.”_

_As Johanna followed Kaisa’s gaze, she too got overcome with excitement when a pack of migrating woffs cut through the sky above them, looking peaceful and completely confident about their destination, even though no human had ever quite been able to figure out where exactly it was that they went._

_Their mellow sighs were a relaxing sound, especially so with the gentle light of the setting sun behind them and the breeze messing with their hairs. Johanna became entrapped in them, her lips parted as she wondered how it would feel to fly on the back of one such creature, so much so that she didn’t notice Kaisa was looking at her out of the corner of her eyes._

_“Look!” Johanna exclaimed. “There’s a white one! You don’t see those every day.”_

_Kaisa nodded. “It is said that white woffs are a sign of good luck for witches.”_

_“Really?” Johanna turned to her, and became a little flustered herself when she realized Kaisa was blushing due to how close their faces were. “Have you ever had a chance to experience this?”_

_“No.” Johanna noticed that Kaisa suddenly had fixed her gaze on the horizon, biting her lip in a nervous habit. “But I thought I might test this theory today.”_

_For a solid moment, Johanna was afraid Kaisa would do something crazy like jumping out of the tower. To her credit, her friend_ was _known for doing unpredictable things. What Kaisa said next, however, was unpredictable in a whole other manner._

_“May I kiss you?” She asked. Her rigid posture indicated that it had taken her a lot of strength to get that out, which only made Johanna appreciate it even more, and her stance relaxed when Johanna smiled widely and chuckled with happiness._

_Instead of answering her, Johanna just leaned in as the woffs flew overhead. Who knew? Maybe white woffs were good luck for familiars too._


	7. At home in odd places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy did I sell my soul to be able to write this week. Anyway, this was a very short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyways   
> (Also sorry for any typos, I edited this too fast)

_The arrival of their midterms meant they spent more time in the library than outside of it. Luckily, they hadn’t allowed any subjects to pile up, so even if it was still tough work, it wasn’t awfully unnerving. Besides, they had each other’s presence and help, which undoubtedly made matters easier; Johanna had to admit revising was more pleasant when she knew her girlfriend would be down to go out for some coffee when they were finished._

_“I feel as though we’re one step away from moving into the library, you know?” Johanna commented when she noticed Kaisa had closed her textbook. There were dark circles under her eyes, as keeping up with two separate educations, the normal one and the magical one, was taking its toll on her. Nevertheless, she smiled._

_“I wouldn’t be averse to it, actually.” Running her eyes through the nearest bookshelf, wishing she could read one of those books instead of doing maths, she sighed. “It’s weird, but I kind of feel at home here. So much knowledge in one place, so much history… this feels more magical than any spell.”_

_Kaisa had closed her eyes to take a deep breath in, basking in the comforting scent of old parchment and wood. It_ did _feel magical to be there. Centuries of stories that had both been stored there and taken place there. It felt sacred. As she knew the delicacy of the topic, Johanna kept her voice low._

_“Is that what you want to work with?”_

_“No.” Suddenly reminded that she couldn’t thrive if all she did was enjoy the peace of places she was already comfortable with, the witch opened her eyes. It would be necessary to come out of her comfort zone if she wanted to do something worthwhile. “As a witch, I can always visit the library. I can practically live here if I want to. But I need to do what my mother couldn’t.”_

_The way Kaisa had clenched her fist was immediately noticed by Johanna, and she reached out to touch her hand, interlacing their fingers. She didn’t know much about what had happened to her mother, since the matter never failed to upset Kaisa and she hadn’t wanted to push her, but she knew how ascending to her mother’s former position meant the world to her. It was what she’d been training for her whole life, even if it was a shame that it apparently meant she couldn’t work with her books._

_“Well, I’ll support you with everything.”_

_“I know you will.” Kaisa squeezed her hand. “Right now I need you to support me with physics, though.”_

_“Oh, not physics!” She groaned, making them both chuckle in equal measure amusement and desperation. It was cozy, she though as they both opened their textbooks, to know that regardless of the path they chose or the place they were, they would always have a home in each other._

_#_#_#_

Kaisa walked surprisingly fast for someone who wasn’t at all that tall, which made it almost impossible for Hilda to catch up with her, though to her credit Hilda wasn’t exactly tall either. When the girl arrived at the base of the staircase, Kaisa was no longer in the building’s entrance hall, and Hilda ran to the door to poke her head outside, looking both ways and catching a glimpse of Kaisa’s cape disappearing behind the right corner. Without thinking twice, she began to follow her.

She could have broken into a quicker run, or shouted after the librarian, but she had a feeling that that would only make Kaisa herself run, or at least do her best to avoid her. As she followed on Kaisa’s tail, watching her take a path that eventually Hilda realized was familiar to her, the girl kept looking behind herself every few minutes, to certify herself that her mother wasn’t following her. Whether Johanna realized she’d screwed up or simply didn’t think Hilda would be able to reach Kaisa, she didn’t know, but the fact was that the woman was nowhere to be seen.

Hilda realized she had been right about the librarian’s destination when the gates of Saint Guglow’s cemetery came into view. Right after Kaisa, she entered the cemetery and kept to the cobblestone path making as little noise as she could manage, wondering which ghost Kaisa wanted to wake up and why, and if she had an extra resurrection staff with her (which was frankly a disturbing thought: how many of those did one person _need_?). Instead of waking any of them up, however, the witch surprised Hilda by sitting between two graves and curling herself up into a ball on the ground.

Her shoulders were shaking even though Hilda couldn’t hear any sounds coming from her. She just stood there at a distance, thinking that if Kaisa really was crying than she should probably leave her alone. Even so, her curiosity kept her feet firmly planted on the ground, feeling unable to walk away from this mystery that seemed to surround two women she had previously thought had _nothing_ to do with each other.

Why hadn’t her mother ever told her she’d known Kaisa when they were young, Hilda wondered, but then she realized: she didn’t really know anything about her mother’s youth. Had she ever even asked Johanna about her past, or had she contended herself to being annoyed when she’d tell little bits and pieces about her childhood in Trolberg? Before she could wallow in thoughts of being a terrible daughter, it came to her attention that the same went for Kaisa. When had she ever asked her about how she’d come to be Tildy’s student, or about how she became the librarian? 

If she could barely remember any interaction with Kaisa that didn’t involve asking the witch to help clean up one of her messes, did she even have the right to be there and ask what the problem was? She didn’t have the opportunity to decide, because right at that moment Kaisa called out for her.

“I know you’re here.” She said even before lifting her head. “What do you want?”

There was no bite to her words, only a sting of hurt. HIlda highly doubted that she appreciated being seen in such a state. Her face looked redder than usual, and so did her eyes, but at least she didn’t look like she’d been full on sobbing. Walking closer, Hilda kneeled down in front of her.

“I want to know if you’re okay.” Though Hilda would have hugged anyone else in this situation, everything about Kaisa’s body language told her to stay away. “And what I can do to help. It is my fault after all.”

Kaisa made a dry sound, something between a scoff and a mirthless chuckle, looking away from the girl.

“Don’t beat yourself up for that. You were probably the one person in the room who wasn’t to blame.”

“I didn’t know my mother knew you.” Hilda tried to sound casual, but the curiosity didn’t stay out of her voice. _Probably because she would rather not have_ , Kaisa thought. “Why does she hate you so much?”

The words hadn’t even finished leaving her mouth before Hilda cringed, realizing it was probably very rude of her to use the word ‘hate’, especially with Kaisa in such a state. Luckily for her, Kaisa didn’t look angry, only sad. She hugged her cape even tighter around herself.

“Part of me thinks I had this coming.” Kaisa sighed, making Hilda perk up. She hadn’t actually thought she’d be able to get the story out of her. “When we were young… not as young as you, we were barely adults… I let Johanna take the fall for something she hadn’t done. Her parents, _your grandparents_ , how much do you know about them?”

“Not much.” 

“They had good intentions.” Kaisa sighed. “But they were very strict. After I did that, Johanna wasn’t allowed to go outside for like, two months.”

“Two months?!” Hilda gasped, thinking about how upset her mother had been about grounding her for just a few days, and with a _reason_.She struggled to even imagine what that must have been like for her. “Why on earth did you do that?”

“I was angry.” She shrugged. Hilda might not forgive her for what she’d done, but she supposed every action had a consequence. What use was it to be forgiven by Hilda if Johanna hadn’t, anyway? Very little, especially since Kaisa wasn’t so sure that she’d come close to forgiving Johanna herself. “Said some harsh stuff, did some harsh stuff too. But that’s not my story to tell, so you won’t hear it from me.”

Hilda looked like she desperately wanted to ask more, but Kaisa just left it at that to indicate that that was the end of their conversation. Truth was, no matter how angry she still was with Johanna, she didn’t want to bad-mouth her to her daughter.

“Can I stay here with you?” Hilda asked after a long beat of silence, but Kaisa nodded negatively.

“Go back home, your mother will be waiting for you.”

“What about you? Won’t you go home?”

Touching the grave to her right, Kaisa felt the cold, smooth stone on her fingertips. “Home can mean many things. Don’t worry about me, the company here is better, anyways.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is ✨kicking my butt✨, so I unfortunately won’t be able to keep posting weekly. I’ll try to do it every other week, but I really can’t promise anything   
> Thank you for understanding <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I currently have the second chapter ready as well as the beginning of the third, so if you guys like this idea it shouldn’t take much longer for me to post again. Thanks for reading!


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